


Cosmos Mariner

by Hairy_Liopleurodon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Gen, Gift Giving, M/M, Minor Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Mutual Pining, POV Fjord (Critical Role), Pining, maybe???, mentions of alcohol and drugs later on, time at the beach, zuala is alive and mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hairy_Liopleurodon/pseuds/Hairy_Liopleurodon
Summary: The Mighty Nein is done with their high school finals and go on vacation.And it's time for Fjord to understand his feelings toward Caduceus.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	1. Well earned nice time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Just a shell shard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854456) by [Hairy_Liopleurodon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hairy_Liopleurodon/pseuds/Hairy_Liopleurodon). 



> Initially it was going to be a slightly longer version of my other fic "Just a Shell Shard", and now I have 6 chapters to post...

“It’s nice of your father to rent a place for us.” Fjord says, leaning forward so he’s closer to Jester.

“I know right? He can be very sweet.”

“After 15 years of ignoring you, he can be sweet.” Beau mutters.

“Come on~, at least he’s trying.”

Beau gives her girlfriend half a smile, to show she acknowledges the effort. Fjord sits back and looks at the window, admiring the view. Hot summer air flows in, goes through his hair and makes him feel more relaxed than he has in months. With finals over, it’s like he has too much empty room in his head. He knows his friends feel the same, even Molly who pretended he didn’t care about graduating.  
Next to him, Caleb is reading, Veth sleeping against his arm. She was sick for the first part of the travel, it is nice to see her relatively peaceful. On the middle row are Jester and Beau, listening to music together, and Molly, visibly bored as much as one can be. Front row is Caduceus and Yasha, with Calliope driving. He still is surprised she decided to do the whole travel with them. Initially they were going to take a bus or the train, and were discussing the logistics when she interrupted them, saying they should save their money and that she’d take them there. Of course they all accepted, and the only explanation they got was that she had business to attend in the area. Fjord was curious about it, but didn’t feel like asking. He starts dozing off to the tune coming from the radio.

When he gets back to reality, they are in the city, driving through the streets to find the address given by Jester’s father. The blue tiefling is almost completely on the front row, her tail wagging, as she tries to guide Calliope. She has a small cry when she notices a familiar figure standing in front of a building.

“Here he is!”

She opens the side door before Calliope can finish to park, and she jumps in her father’s arms laughing. He asks her how the road was, if they had any trouble, how everyone was doing. She answers all of his questions with her usually energy. They start emptying the van when she finally acknowledges her step-mother’s presence. Beau seems on edge when the two women hug, despite them being polite. Jester is handed the keys and told about a neighbor who can help if they need anything. Once the two adults left, she sighs heavily before helping everyone else.

The apartment is just as big as they were told, maybe even bigger. Big windows provide a lot of light, the living room is merged with the kitchen, there are three bedrooms, a balcony, the bathroom has a tub… Everyone finds reasons to gasp, even little things. Fjord notices Caduceus' smile getting brighter and his tail wagging a bit when he notices the plants on the balcony. He can imagine his friend is already thinking about taking care of these.  
It is decided that they’ll share the rooms as they usually do, one for the boys, one for the girls, whatever is left for whoever wants to be alone. As no one feels like sleeping on their own for now, they only get the two biggest rooms ready, making sure they all fit, blowing up their inflatable mattresses and making sure the whole thing is comfortable for when they come back later. Calliope leaves once she is sure they didn’t forget anything in the van, reminding them she won’t be far, just in case. They all thank her for her help. When they’re done with the rooms' preparations, they all sit down in the living/dining room and take a break. It’s time to make up the program for the next few days, ideally.

“Should we go to the beach right now?” Jester says, drawing a blank schedule on a sheet of paper.

“Too early.” Fjord answers. “Unless you want sunburns on the first day.”

“Don’t give her ideas.” Beau laughs, fanning herself.

“You’re the one who knows the city, sweetheart. Find something for us to do.” Molly tugs at the collar of his t-shirt.

“Okay, okay, okay… What do you guys want to do? So I can say if it’s possible.”

“Shopping!” Molly sits up with a giant smile.

“If you know libraries or bookshops…” Caleb shyly says.

“I’d love to visit the lighthouse.” Cad softly admits, not even looking at her.

“Anything that doesn’t involve using my brain.” Beau laughs again.

“Anything that doesn’t involve water.” Veth mutters.

“Yeah, shopping sounds good… What about you Fjord? Yasha?”

“Nothing in particular. I’ll go with what y’all do.” Fjord says.

“Same for me.” Yasha adds.

“Okay, okay, okay…”

She starts filling up some parts of the schedule, no specific hours, just a list of the things they could do over the days. She mutters about groceries, a movie night, how they’ll have to decide who keeps the keys. Even while studying she didn’t seem that serious or focused, and it’s a little bit scary. After a few minutes, she asks everyone what they think, and they re-adjust a few things before agreeing.  
For today, they decide to just go explore, so everyone gets a bit more familiar with the apartment’s surroundings, especially the different shops. The warm air carries the smell of the different bakeries around, a few clouds obscure the sun from time to time. As they walk in the streets, they run into other groups of tourists, and other students their age. Fjord tries to remember the name of some shops, but by the time he thinks of noting them on his phone he already forgot half of them. He shrugs it off. That’s alright, they have three weeks here, no need to rush. Holding Beau’s hand, Jester gives them a bit of history, giving out anecdotes about her different misadventures. The group listens, commenting every once in a while, or asking questions. They end up buying some lunch and eating it in a park, under the shade of giant trees, still chatting. With their meal done, they stay there, enjoying the mid-day warmth and the small breeze that brushes on them.   
Fjord lays down, hands under his head, and looks at the light between the tree’s leaves. He’s a bit startled when Caduceus comes next to him, humming with his eyes closed. He eyes linger on his friend’s profile, maybe a second longer than needed. He brings his attention back to the leaves, but he feels like talking.

“Why do you want to see the lighthouse?”

“It’s sculpted to look like Melora. I wonder what’s the story behind it.”

“Melora?”

“The Wildmother.”

“Ooooh, your goddess.” Fjord nods. “Does she… rule over the sea too?”

“She watches over it. Sea is part of nature after all.”

“That makes sense.”

He glances at Caduceus and his smile seems wider.

"We should watch a movie tonight!" Jester shouts as they climb the stairs.

"I thought you wanted to swim." Beau laughs.

"The sea will still be there tomorrow."

They get into the apartment, everyone taking a seat. It's early evening, the air feels heavy and despite their afternoon doing nothing under their tree, they all feel tired. As Yasha sits down on the couch, Molly immediately goes onto her lap, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Caleb and Veth sit next to them, Beau and Jester share the same seat, and Fjord takes place on another chair. Caduceus goes in the kitchen to grab some things, and comes back to give everyone a glass he fills with cold water. They all sigh in relief and thank him.

“I’m not sure we’ll have enough food for more than breakfast.” he mentions, sitting down.

“Ah yeah, we have to decide for the first team to do the groceries…” Beau mutters after downing her water.

“I’ll take care of it!” Jester kisses her cheek. “Caleb, you come too.”

“Why me?”

“So you can practice your polymorphism!” she turns to him with a pleading face. “I miss my twin.”

“...fine.”

“Fjord, you too.” she points at him with her tail, all smile.

“I was about to suggest someone responsible goes with you.”

“Your middle name is responsible, so you’re all set!” Molly laughs. “But all that planning doesn’t tell us what we’re eating tonight.”

“How about pizza?” Beau asks, standing up and collecting the glasses.

They all agree. On the kitchen counter they find leaflets for the different takeout restaurants of the area. It takes them half an hour to decide what to order and in what quantities. Caleb is designated to call the pizzeria and while he stumbles on his words, encouraged by Veth, Jester plugs her hard-drive on the TV so they can chose a movie. She insists on it being a horror film, but Molly and Fjord (mostly Fjord) manage to convince her to pick another genre. They settle for a romantic comedy, one they know is not very good and will be easy to make fun of. Waiting for their order to arrive, they all change to their pyjamas or at least more comfortable clothing. Eventually they eat and spend half the night making fun of the obvious narrative strings in the movies they watch, question the plot-holes, and there is hardly a minute where they're all silent.

When time comes to go sleep, they separate to their different rooms. In the boys', Molly immediately grabs Fjord's arm.

"Roomie, you're sleeping with me."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Nope. The bed is too small for Caduceus. And 'Mister' Caleb prefers to sleep alone."

" _Ja._ At least you two are used to each other's presence."

"See?"

Molly is all smile and he takes off the giant t-shirt he was wearing -probably stolen from Yasha- and jumps into the bed only wearing his briefs. Caduceus is already laying on the mattress they put down earlier. He looks like he is about to fall asleep. Fjord could swear Caleb's jaw was clenched the whole time Molly was near him, but he probably just imagined it. He brushes it off and goes to lay on the bed next to Molly. He doesn't realise he was this tired until he closes his eyes, an arm over his head.


	2. A present

He wakes up when a hand brushes hair off his face. Eyes half open, he recognizes Caduceus' face. He is smiling, and Fjord feels like it's the softest smile he's ever seen. He thinks it's the perfect thing to wake up to… until he realises what he is thinking. He hides his face in his hands to hide his blush and tries to refrain a smile.

"Good morning…" the firbolg says with his usual calm voice.

"G'morning. Is it late?"

"No, just a bit past nine. Thought you'd like to catch breakfast before the others eat everything."

"Good plan." he sits up, rubbing his hands on his face and neck before leaving the room.

Caduceus follows him and goes straight to the balcony. He watches him sit down and he guesses his friend is going to try and meditate.

The table is covered with packs of biscuits and bottles of fruit juices, mostly empty. A kettle rests in the middle, two unused cups next to it. His friends are making a lot of noise, chatting about the program. On the couch, he sees Caleb holding a mirror for Jester, who is putting on some makeup. Judging by Beau's damped hair, she exercised and needed a refresh. Yasha is the only silent one, sipping her tea while Molly is braiding her hair. Veth is nowhere to be seen, she's probably still sleeping. He sits down, grabs what's left of a brownie and starts eating it as he pours himself a cup of tea. By the smell he knows it's one of Caduceus', he tasted it in the past. As all the others, it's delicious. He rummages through the different packets to find something else to eat, but the only solid thing remaining is a handful of mini biscuits, which he decides to leave for Veth. He hears Jester and Caleb checking the grocery list, and suggests they grab as much snacks as possible, on top of meal essentials.

As they close the apartment door, folded bags in their hands, Jester turns to Caleb with a giant smile. He sighs, trying to pout, hands his bags to Fjord and search through his handbag. He takes a small white thing out and breaks it as he murmurs something. Under his friends eyes his form starts changing. Horns and a tail appear, his skin turns blue, as well as his hair. The scars on his forearms even adjust to his new skin color. After a minute, he could totally pass as Jester's twin. She erupts from happiness and hugs him tight.

"This is so, so, so cool!" she says, examining his features. "Even better than last time!"

" _ Danke _ , but we only have one hour, so we should get going."

"Okay, okay, okay." she grabs his hand and let her tail tangle around his. "Let's go."

Fjord smiles fondly when she tries to look more serious. They start walking to the store, Jester talking to fill the silence, Caleb reacting every once in a while, Fjord doing his best to follow their 'conversation'. He tends to forget this two are childhood friends and share a awful lot of inside jokes he can't get, and so he feels confused more than one time. Arriving in front of the shop, she grabs a cart and tugs at Caleb's sleeve. With a sigh, he jumps in the cart, making himself as small as possible. She immediately starts pushing him into the store like he doesn't weight anything. The cart could be empty, it would be all the same, her strength can be scary at time.

A cashier stops them and asks for Caleb's ID, which he provides while explaining why he changed his form. The man hesitates, and finally lets them get in, as long as they don't make any mess. They stroll through the alleys, grabbing things from the list but also whatever they deem useful or interesting.

"I forgot you can't go in stores when disguised…" Jester mutters, ruffling through Caleb's hair.

"They could have asked him to drop the spell. It's cool they let us enter anyway." Fjord smiles, putting a pack of soda bottles at his friend's feet.

"Yeah but now they're gonna be  **suspicious** . And I don't like that."

" _ Alles ist gut _ , Jester."

"I know. But still."

"Instead of worrying, why don't you tell us how it started between you and Beau?" Caleb asks with a grin.

"...Wait, that's true, you never told the story." Fjord notes, tossing packs of snacks in the cart.

"I did!" she exclaims.

" _ Nein _ , you didn't. You just started dating and none of us felt like asking." he looks up to her. "Tell us before I  **suggest** it."

"You wouldn't." she answers, booping his nose with her finger.

"Wanna try?"

"...Okay, fine!" she grabs a pack of candy and presses it in Caleb's arms. "But don't tell Beau. I'm not sure she's okay with others knowing."

"Silent as a tomb." Fjord swears.

" _ Ja _ , something like that."

She seems to hesitate a bit more. She takes the list from Fjord's hands and goes back to the alleys they already went in, making sure they didn't forget anything. The two men look at her with questioning eyes. They feel like they should have kept silent about it. When she comes back with an armfull of spices, she seems more relaxed. She goes back to pushing the cart.

"Okay so! You remember last year? When I confessed to you" she points at Fjord, who nods. "and you basically told me you liked me a lot but not like that. I was  **mad** about it. It was around Valentines, and I had nothing to do and Beau messaged me and was like 'hey wanna hang out', so we did hang out. And then we started hanging out every week-end. Almost."

"I remember." Caleb nods, putting the smaller things in a bag he unfolded so they don't scatter in the cart.

"Then it was summer, and everyone was away and I was sad, and Beau started dating that girl… Keg? Was that her name?" she waits for Fjord or Caleb to confirm before continuing "and for some reason it made me sad. And kinda jealous. But not like when Fjord dated Avantika. It was  **super weird** , you guys. Then they broke up, but I still was feeling weird. Then school started again, and I was super happy to see Beau everyday again. Then we got assigned this projects, over Halloween holidays, and we hanged out even more to get it done."

"The gallery thing?"

"Yeah. And that's when I realised I…  **liked** Beau. Like, really really liked her. But I didn't want to ruin whatever we had. So I kept it to myself."

"I remember you being miserable at that point." Fjord says.

"Yeah, I pretended it was just because winter was approaching. I don't think anyone believed that. And theeeen~ around Silvercrest, Beau suggested we spend a bit of time together. I was wearing that super pretty pink dress? The one with the flower embroidery. She told me I was beautiful. And she confessed to me. I confessed back."

"Okay, that's actually genuinely adorable." Caleb chuckles.

"I know right! We weren't sure what to do, so we just… kept it to ourselves for a while and then we decided to not explain. So we started holding hands, kissing, calling each other pet names in public… And nobody questioned it."

"This is a very cute story, Jessie." Fjord smiles. "Why wouldn't Beau be okay with people knowing?"

"I don't know." she sighs. "She just… Didn't seem into the idea when I brought it up awhile back. So, please, keep it to yourself?"

"Of course."

" _ Versprochen _ ."

She smiles at them, and she even seems a bit relieved, like if telling the story lifted a weight off her back. They keep going through the alleys, and once the list is completed and everything is paid, they head back home.

Caleb's spell lasts just long enough for the rest of the group to see how good of a job it was. Once it drops, they applause him, making him blush. But Fjord doesn't really notice it. What immediately caught his attention when he enters is Molly. Molly sitting on Caduceus' lap, an arm wrapped around his neck, his other hand pressed against the firbolg's chest. Caduceus doesn't seem to mind, he just sips his tea. But for some reason the vision makes Fjord angry. Or envious? He shakes his head to chase the feeling, bringing his focus back to the bag he and Jester are bringing in the kitchen. They start emptying them on the counters to fill the cabinets and the fridge. But Fjord's mind is buzzing. Why does he feel like that? Molly is constantly hugging people, he never leaves Yasha alone, he tends to cling to Fjord a lot too, and it's not the first time he sees him acting this way with Caduceus. Why does it make him so angry then? Is it even anger? Yes, he did feel a discomfort at that sight in the past, but nothing like what he is feeling right now. Veth catches his attention by asking if they bought any alcohol or if she'll have to go herself. Jester answers before he can collect his thoughts. As he stands up he sees Caleb nervously rubbing his forearm, looking disappointed too. Maybe just a coincidence.

Veth and Caduceus are assigned to start preparing lunch, while the others try to review the program. Most of the group agreed on shopping, but everyone wants different things. With Jester's memory of the shops and some search on the internet, they decide to separate in two groups, and to rejoin at the apartment at a certain hour so they can go to the beach, and spend the late afternoon and evening there. Beau is given the responsibility of the key. Of course Molly comments on it, angrying her, and it takes both Jester and Yasha's patience to calm her down. Finally they can eat, vegetables with chicken, and more spices than anyone expected. The cooks get a lot of compliments, both of them blushing slightly. Fjord and Caleb take care of the dishes while Caduceus prepares tea for everyone. While the water boils, he announces he doesn't feel very well and will stay in to rest. His friends protest, but don't try for long to convince him to come. He prepares the kettle as the others start talking about something else. He seems to take a deep breath and leans closer to Fjord, who's drying the last plates.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If you find a hat, anything with large borders, could you buy it for me?"

"No problem." he is a bit confused. "Didn't you bring one?"

"I can't find it. I think I left it in Calliope's van… I don't want to ask her to come just for that."

"Understood." he gives him his most charming smile.

"Thank you."

Caduceus smiles and puts his hand on Fjord's shoulder. And it feels like electricity gathers under the touch, his skin is suddenly warm. He tries to ignore the feeling. It happened before. It's just a bit stronger. It's probably just Cad's magic that has a weird effect on him. Maybe he should mention it to someone. He keeps his composure and assures his friend he'll try to find something, reminding him he can send a picture if needed. The only response he gets is a warmer smile, as he is handed a cup of hot mint tea.

Fjord sits down on a bench, keeping an eye on Veth and Jester, who are going through a batch of fabric on sale. Molly joins him and dramatically fans himself.

"As soon as they're done we go get ice cream."

"Why wait?" Fjord jokes.

"Because I don't wanna have to deal with this two being mad at me. Twice a day is already enough."

"Fair point."

"Did I kick you a lot last night?"

"No? Why are you asking?"

"You sound grumpier than usual. Or maybe it's just because Beau isn't around."

"I'm fine, just… still not completely out of my exam mode."

"Ah! Serves you right to be studious."

He just rolls his eyes as an answer. They've been roomates since they started high school, and it was a challenge until the very end. Now they'll have to go back to their families… or whatever they had. He takes a look at the tiefling. With his brightly colored jumpsuit and giant sunglasses, he obviously draws attention. He doesn't even try to be discreet while he observes people around in the street, especially when the people in question are young men. Obnoxious, and unapologetic about it. The half-orc wishes he had a tenth of his friend's self-confidence, at least when it comes to his sexuality. He brings his attention back to the girls, only to notice they moved into the shop. Hopefully they'll be done with their purchases soon. When they come out, each of them is carrying a big bag, filled with gods know what. They're cheery and all smiles, and give the boys a sign they can keep going. After a minute of walking, while Molly and Veth are admiring jewelry in a window display, Fjord approaches Jester.

"What treasures did you find?" he asks, pointing at her bag.

"Fabric scraps and stuff for a secret project." she smirks and wiggle her eyebrows. "You'll all see it in three weeks, don't worry."

"I wasn't worried. You just took a while in that shop."

"Because things had to be per-fect!" she insists on that last word. "Also we bargained with the seller, and that took a while."

" **You** bargained with a shopkeeper?"

"Veth. I stayed on the side. It was efficient, we got a discount and the guy gave us a card so we can have half-off everytime we shop here!" she shows him the card.

"Nice job then."

"I know right?!" she puts the card back in her purse. "I'm gonna come back super often. Did I tell you I wanna try making my own clothes more?"

"Maybe you mentioned it."

"I made my jumpsuit!" she twirls to show him. "I wanna try to replace my other clothes with stuff I made."

"That is… weirdly responsible of you. No offense!"

"None taken, don't worry." she giggles. "I can be responsible every once in a while!"

Finally their friends come back, arguing about the prices of jewelry being justified or not, and if the seller seemed grumpy enough to try and steal from them. Visibly they decided it was too soon in their vacation to commit arson since their hands were empty. They get back to their walk, stopping every once in a while. After a good hour of wandering, they find a shop that sells beach stuff for a decent price, and they decide to take a look. They couldn't bring all the things they had initially planned because Calliope's van is only this big, so they could use some games and such. And Fjord finds exactly what Caduceus asked to buy for him.

They get back to the apartment before the other group, finding Caduceus preparing what looks like sandwiches. He smiles at them as they come in, greeting them and asking how their afternoon went. After a quick sum-up, the girls disappear in their room, and Molly decides it's the best moment to take a nap. Once he is alone with Cad, Fjord fidgets a bit with the corner of the bag he is holding before walking up to his friend.

"I found what you wanted." he shyly says.

"Really? Since you didn't text, I thought you had forgotten."

"I did forget to text." he hands him the bag. "I hope it fits."

Caduceus dries his hands on a towel he had tugged on his belt, grabs the bag and opens it, taking out its content. It's a big straw hat, with large, spayed borders, and a white silken ribbon, forming an elegant bow. There are small pink embroideries of flowers on the tips of the ribbon. The firbolg takes a good look at it, at all angles, a smile slowly forming on his face. He tries it on. It fits perfectly, and Fjord couldn't feel happier about his choice. He watches his friend go to the mirror in the bathroom, checking his reflection. His smile goes wider. He sees his friend moving his hands rapidly, and his tails wagging like crazy, so he guesses he really is satisfied. He comes back to Fjord and hugs him tight.

"Thank you!"

"Your?! Welcome?!" Fjord feels his cheeks getting hotter and his heart pounding in his chest.

"I love it." Caduceus lets go of him and takes the hat off. "I'll tell Calliope to keep the other one."

"I wasn't sure you'd like it." he tries to keep, or regain, some composure. "I mean, it has your vibe, but maybe style wise… You get it."

"Not really. But thank you." he smiles again. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing!"

"Huh?"

"Just- just take it. It's a gift. You don't pay for a gift."

"I guess not." he seems lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. "I'll try to find something equivalent."

"You don't have to-"

"As a gift."

Fjord sees Caduceus wink and smile playfully as he puts the hat down on the dining table and goes back to cooking. The half-orc feels a buzz in his ears and it's certain he is blushing harder than ever before. He goes in the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face, in hope the blush will subside. Looking at his reflection he feels ridiculous. It's just a gift. A gift that happened to be very appreciated. Great! No big deal then. Yet, when Cad's smile comes back in his mind he straights up turns on the shower on the lowest temperature and keeps his head under the water. He  **is** ridiculous.

When he gets out, Beau, Caleb and Yasha are back from their own walk. They vaguely greet him while they fill a bag with things they'll need on the beach. As he was gone they all decided to go there early so they could make the most of it. He is asked why he is already soaked, he pretends he just felt too hot, drawing a laugh out of his friends. As they leave, he helps with the "fun" bag, while Yasha carries the cool box, filled with drinks and the sandwiches and snacks Caduceus made.

The beach is rather empty, knowing how hot the day was they were expecting more people to take advantage of the water. At least it makes it easy to find a spot large enough so they can fit all of their towels and bags close together. Jester and Beau immediately get undressed and jump in the water, quickly followed by Molly and Caleb. Veth insists on being the one keeping an eye out on their things. Caduceus offers to stay with her. Even if it's sunset, he is wearing the straw hat Fjord gave him. He keeps an hand close to the border, making sure he could catch it if any wind was to come and blow it away. Yasha interrupts Fjord's train of thought by suggesting he also go have fun. He jokes he won't unless she forces him, and he regrets it as soon as she picks him up. She carries him bride style to the water and throws him near their friends. A general burst of laughter ensues. With one of her rare smiles, she offers him a hand to get up. He takes the occasion to have revenge and pulls her in the water. He's pretty sure he hears her actually laugh, but he could be wrong. Everyone is loud right now. And it's all extremely pleasant.

They spend a good two hours playing in the water before Veth calls them for dinner. She tries to go close to the water to make sure they heard her, but quickly backs up. Caleb gets out first, accepting the towel she hands him. The others slowly follow, Fjord is the last one to get out. They eat, the sandwiches taste wonderful, probably both thanks to their friend's culinary skills and because they are hungrier than ever. Beau picks on Veth for not approaching the water, and gets a handful of sand thrown to her face in response. Jester tries to calm both of them, and even has to promise Beau won't do it again, making the young woman grimace. The halfling doesn't believe it, but accepts the somewhat apologie. Caleb still suggests she gives it a try. He's about to get his own handful of sand when Caduceus tells her she can take it slow. First just dipping her feet, and slowly getting used to it, and maybe only try swimming where she can stand with her head above the water. As she listens, Veth seems to really think about it, but still refuses. She gets a pat on the head and is assured she isn't forced to do anything. Fjord can see the mix of relief and anger in her eyes. Their little friend doesn't like being pet, or at least not as much as she used to.

Since it's still pretty hot out, despite the night setting, they decide to go back in the water and play, it's not as lively as before but still pretty dynamic. When they start getting chills everytime they leave the water, it's clear they've had enough for the day. They pack everything. Back at the apartment they take rounds to use the shower, getting rid of the sand and salt on their skin and in their hair. Everyone goes to sleep pretty fast afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter this one...  
> Again, I thrive on kudos and sincerely appreciate comments!  
> If you think I should change/add a tag, let me know :)


	3. Waves and scares

The first thing he sees when he wakes up is Molly on Caduceus' lap. And it angers him. Again. The tiefling is doing his friend's makeup, and Fjord can't fathom how he can do it in such an uncomfortable position. He rubs his eyes and yawns, drawing their attention to him.

"Hello, sleeping beauty~" Molly laughs, adding glitter on Cad's cheekbone.

"How did you sleep Fjord?" the firbolg sounds content.

"Pretty fine actually. Got lulled by the waves."

"Lulled?"

"Don't listen to him, he's gonna rumble about the sea again."

"I do want to know." that surprises Fjord. "How did they lull you if you were in bed?"

"If you spend enough time in the water" he starts, smiling "you can still feel the waves every time you're sitted or layed down and close your eyes."

"Really?"

"Really. You should swim with us today, maybe you'll feel it!" Fjord wishes he didn't sound that excited about the idea.

"Why not. That sounds, uh, like a nice experience."

"Never happened to me, though." Molly snarks, standing up just as Caleb comes into the room. "Caleb! Did the waves ever lull you to sleep?"

" _ Was _ ?  _ Water _ ?  _ Ja _ , sometimes." he sits down on his mattress without looking at them.

"Pretty sure he didn't really hear the question." Molly jokes before leaving.

The firbolg smiles as he stands up and follows him. The glitter on his face highlights some of his features as they catch the sun rays that go through the blinders. Fjord can't help taking a look at his outfit, green harem pants and a white tank top. Seeing the naked thin arms makes him feel warm for some reason. He hides his face in his pillow and tries to catch his phone on the night stand while his friend also leaves. Only then he realizes it's almost noon. He quickly dresses up and joins everyone in the living room.

It's rapidly decided that evenings at the beach will be mandatory. Everyone can spend their day as they wish (as long as they warn the rest of the group) and once the late afternoon hits, they grab a cold meal and stay in the warm sand and water until they feel too cold or too exhausted. The most responsible members of the group are tasked to keep an eye on everyone's schedule if there is any change.

A few days pass like that. Nothing much happens. Everyday Veth and Jester spend hours locked up in the free room, doing gods know what. Caduceus manages to make Veth go into the water, and made her understand she can feel proud she didn't freak out before the water level reached her ankles. Yasha is on her phone a  **lot** and gets picked at about it by Beau and Jester, who seem to know something. Turns out Caleb has been reading as a summer job, for a small business, and has a lot of books to return by the end of july. Veth, Jester and Beau try to get tattooed, but are quickly discouraged by both Molly and the artist they went to. They keep talking about it, clearly keeping the plan for later. Fjord…keeps feeling weird about Molly constantly clinging to Caduceus. It even evolves into feeling anxious when anyone shows the firbolg affection in any form, and he even catches himself get upset a few times when his friend shows signs of affection in return.

Which is nonsens. They're all friends. Why does he feel this way? Most of all, why does it still bother him after a week of living with them constantly?

It makes him strangely happy when, after spending two good hours in the sea water with the others, Cad lays down and mentions feeling the waves. He mutters something about it being indeed very soothing and "very nice" before falling asleep. It takes Fjord all his will not to stay awake just to look at ease peaceful expression longer.

It makes him shine with joy when he notices that Cad wears the hat he offered him every single time he goes outside, even to just water or check on the plants on the balcony. Of course it's its purpose, that's what he bought it for, yet he still couldn't feel happier every time he witnesses his friend grabbing the strawhat and putting it on.

It's been a week, and finally everyone gives in and accepts to do a horror movie night, just so Jester would stop suggesting it every night. Fjord is not reassured at all. He can already tell he's not going to sleep well. Beau braggs that if any ghost wants to fight, she is absolutely up for it, making the others laugh. From memory Jester makes a list of film that could trigger some of her friends, namely Veth and Caleb. She wants the night to be as fun as possible for everyone. Even Yasha suggests to avoid some other titles, just in case. Caduceus seems to be the only one to notice Fjord's distress. He slides the tip of his fingers on his.

"You're gonna be alright?" he softly asks.

"Yeah! Yeah of course! Why wouldn't I?"

"...just asking. Tell me you change opinion."

"Move, roomie, I called dibs on this sit." Molly smirks, pushing Fjord so he can sit between them on the couch.

"You didn't call dibs on shit." Beau mutters.

"Well, now I did."

Fjord just scooches far enough so the tiefling has enough room to sit comfortably, which he does, leaning against Cad's shoulder and letting his tail thrash against the sit. The half-orc rolls his eyes. He catches Caleb's glare, and once more he could have dreamt it because it disappears almost immediately. He shruggs it off, like every time before, and tries to convince himself that it's going to be a fun, nice night, without any problem, after all the ghosts in this movies are fake. Same for the curses. Demons. Monsters… Like, yes, there are some of these in real life, but the ones in the movies were created for the movies. Right?

He forgets all about his internal speech after the first film. It's much worse than he remembers. He tries to keep his composure, to look like the 'big strong guy', but there is one in the group he can't fool. Fortunately, Cad decides to not mention his friend's fear. He is probably waiting for him to signal his distress more clearly. On one hand he is thankful for that. On the other he wishes someone would just… take him somewhere else.

By three in the morning they've watched everything Jester wanted, and they finally go to bed to catch some sleep. Or to at least try.

After an eternity of rolling in his sheets and trying to not jump at the slightest sounds, Fjord is completely awoken by screaming on his side. Caleb is protecting his face with his hands, begging for mercy, or so it sounds, given it's all in zemnian. Before he can do anything to help his friend, he sees Molly's silhouette going to Caleb's bunk and softly getting his arms away from his face, murmuring something the whole time. He hugs him and signs to Fjord to stay quiet, as Caleb finally seems to calm down. He gives up the idea to go back to sleep, especially given the time it took him to fall asleep the first time. Caduceus left the room a while back, maybe discussing with him a bit could help. Or better, maybe he has a tea to help him sleep. He'd be forever grateful if that's the case. He gestures a good luck sign to Molly and leaves the room without a sound. The living room is bathed by moonlight, the blue hue giving it a dreamlike vibe. He looks around and finally sees a familiar silhouette, seemingly looking at the sky from the balcony. His friend looks like a fairy, or one of these pretty creatures that appear in dreams to lure people into poor decisions. He walks up to him, not trying to be discreet anymore. That would be useless.

"Hello there…" Caduceus murmurs as soon as he lands a foot on the balcony.

"Good evening."

"Hard time sleeping?"

"Gods, yes… It feels stupid but everytime I close my eyes I feel someone looking at me."

"Mmmh…"

"Why are  **you** awake, though? Thought you weren't bothered by this kind of stuff."

"Someone in the room kept moving and rumbling." he smiles.

"Oh."

"I'm joking. This past week I've always left the room at one point of the night or another."

"Is it...to commune with Her?"

"Oh no, I do that in the morning. No, I just come here to appreciate this."

As he says so he gestures at the city around them, the sea, the buildings. Fjord doesn't understand at first. Then, in the silence he realizes… that the city is not quiet at night. He hears insects calling, the waves crashing against the docks, the wind going between the houses and through the trees, and, here and there, people, coming back from parties or something similar. It's not silent. Even at night, the city is alive.

He feels dumb for forgetting about something like that. He usually is the one reminding people that nothing can be truly asleep. No matter what you can think about. He loses his train of thoughts when a hand lands on his shoulder.

"I'm going to make tea. Would you like some?"

"I'd…" Fjord blushes. "I'd love some. Thank you."

Fjord wakes up on the couch, just as Jester is putting a blanket on him. It's morning already. He doesn't remember falling asleep. To be entirely honest he doesn't even remember the tea he had with Cad. The tiefling seems worried.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No it's okay. Don't worry Jessie."

"Did you sleep? Like, at all? More than an hour?" she looks distressed. "Molly said he heard you fighting with something in your sleep… the rare moments you did."

"Yeah yeah, I did sleep. Don't worry." he takes a second to think. "Maybe I'll stay home today to catch some more rest."

"Good idea. I'll bring you pastries?"

"Sounds lovely. Thank you Jester."

"Your welcome."

She still seems worried but leaves him alone. The others start waking up as well, making a comforting background noise that keeps the half-orc awake but at-ease. They all agree he should stay home, just to be sure he doesn't end up exhausted in the middle of the day. Caduceus suggests to stay with him, but Fjord refuses, encouraging him to go have some fun. When they finally all leave, he falls asleep almost immediately. He doesn't dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on kudos, and genuinely appreciate comments! ♡  
> If you think I should (for example) change/add a tag, anything, please let me know!


	4. The lighthouse and the docks

It's the middle of their second week there. Molly became friend with a tabaxi from the neighbourhood and every time his friends go back to the apartment he goes to her place, coming back an hour or two later, smelling like pot. He suggests to bring some to the others, but no one accepts. Beau is tempted but Jester stops her from asking directly.

That day, there are more clouds than usual, and the temperature seems to finally go down a bit. Everyone is deciding what to do. Fjord has an idea.

"Cad, have you seen the lighthouse yet?"

"No, maybe today…"

"I'll come with you."

"He can go on his own, white knight." Veth jokes, punching Fjord's shoulder. It hurts more than he'll admit.

"Maybe, but I want to go to the docks later… and the whole Wildmother thing got me curious, to be honest."

"Oh, that's nice." Cad seems to blush. "Well, let's go together then."

"Veth and I will stay here." Jester sings, already going in the spare room. "We have something to finish and we're late."

"Yup, it would be a shame if we couldn't hand it in time." the halfling joins her.

"I hate it when my girlfriend won't tell what kind of mischief she is onto. I'll go with Caleb."

"Yash, how about we go to the botanical garden? Pretty sure we could buy some nice flower things there."

"Mmh? Yes, probably. Let's do that."

Once everything is settled they all go their ways. Veth and Jester ask them to message them if anything happens, which everyone promises. Fjord and Caduceus walk for a while with Beau and Caleb, who are going in the same direction, before finally being on their own. Wait, finally? Was he so impatient to be alone with his friend that he was happy the other two left?! The half-orc shakes his head. Too much overthinking lately. Too much overthinking involving Caduceus. The ribbon from his friend's hat flies in the wind and tickles his cheek, making him look at the firbolg. His relaxed profile, looking far ahead, gently smiling… all of that makes his heart skip a bit. That fairy look again. Stop overthinking, he tries to convince himself. Stop thinking, period. It will make all of this easier. Whatever "this" is supposed to be.

They finally reach the lighthouse. It's even more grandiose from up close. The lady sculpted in the rock has a peaceful face, arms opened in a welcoming, almost protecting gesture. He remembers seeing it from afar, the few times he took the sea with his fosters' friend, Vandren, but he never paid much attention to its form. Now he feels dizzy from how big and yet elegant it looks. The building is well kept, apart from a few scratches in the old cement, and the copper painting on her hair could use a refresh. A warning sign on the door indicates no visitors are allowed. Fjord is about to stop Caduceus when he still rings the old bell. A minute passes before a small trap on the door opens, only revealing two eyes circled by wrinkled skin. Caduceus explains he is the worshipper who called a few days back, and he apologizes for not coming sooner. He also asks if it's okay that he has a friend with him. The person behind the door doesn't answer, but closes the trap before opening the door. It's an old lady, and she is all smiles to her visitors. She invites them in. Fjord does his best to follow her speech, but she gives too many informations for him to really pick what's important or not. He does catch that the lighthouse is a handful of centuries old, that the lady is in her eighties, and that she knew She wanted her to work there, to help keep an eye on the ocean travelers. She suggests they stay to take a cup of tea, which they accept.

Almost three hours later they finally get out of the building, Fjord with a headache from the constant flow of information, and Caduceus with a small potted plant the lady insisted for him to take. The half-orc takes a last look at the lighthouse before sighing heavily.

"She was quite the deal." Cad says before he can articulate anything.

"The lady or the place?" they start walking as he waits for his friends' answer.

"Both, I guess. The inside architecture was very nice. I have no knowledge in that but… it was pleasant to look at."

"I second you on that. I understand why you wanted to visit it so much."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome… wait, what for?"

"Coming with me. You didn't have to."

"I guess? But no need to thank me, I would have probably tried to come on my own another time."

"Mmmh, really?"

"Fine, maybe not. But you gave the opportunity, so thank  **you** ?"

"We do that quite a lot."

"What?"

"Thanking each other. Thanking the other because we feel like we don't want to be thanked. Stuff like that."

"Oh. Do we really?"

"I suppose that's our thing." he smiles at Fjord as they arrive at the docks.

A minute passes where they just look at one another. He could have heard the wood and steel of the different ships cracking, the seagulls quacking above their heads. Instead the only sounds that came to his ears was his own heartbeat, and some kind of buzz with it. When they finally break eye contact, Caduceus asks a question about a specific ship. Fjord does his best to answer. It takes him a bit of patience to remember some of his sailing vocabulary, then some more to find ways to explain the use of some specific parts. After a while he feels at ease again, and almost forgets about the incident from before. They find an ice cream maker who offers weird flavors and they get tempted. Caduceus takes one meant to taste like poppys, Fjord decides on one that tastes like hibiscus. He remembers liking an infusion with this flowers, and the ice cream form is not disappointing. He gets to try Cad's pick, only realizing afterwards that it could count as an indirect kiss. He tries not to blush, but inside he blames Jester and her weird books and movies for this stupid thought.

"What do you miss most?"

"About?"

"Living by the sea."

"...I never took the time to think about it. When I miss it...it's as a whole. The sounds, the smells, everything."

"Do you ever regret- nevermind."

"No, no, you started, you finish."

"Do you ever regret moving away?"

"...sometimes. But then I remember if I hadn't followed my fosters, I wouldn't have met-" **you** "-you all. The Mighty Nein!" he flexes for the effect. "I can live without the sea as long as I have you all."

"That is surprisingly sweet of you."

"I can be sweet sometimes." he quickly finishes his cone of ice cream.

"That you can." Caduceus murmurs.

He presses his index near the corner of Fjord's mouth, grasping a small piece remaining of the cone, and brings it to his own mouth to eat it. He smiles again before getting back to their walk like nothing happened, tail wagging peacefully, leaving Fjord behind, completely lost in the storm of feelings inside his mind. When he catches up with the firbolg, he immediately gets a new question about yet another ship. They keep talking like that until they've walked along the entire part of the docks available to tourists. They decide to go home after that.

On the way, Caduceus surprises Fjord yet again.

"What would you like?"

"Right now? A limonade."

"I meant as a present. You know, the thank you for the hat."

"Oh! Oh. I didn't think about it. Honestly, anything will do."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I know you wouldn't give me something I wouldn't like."

"...I'll keep it in mind."

"You're worried I'd reject a present from you?"

"Not really. You're too polite to reject a present."

"Guilty on that."

"I just want to be sure you will  **really** like it."

"I'd love anything from you." he blushes as soon as he realizes what words he used.

"I'll make sure you  **love** it, then." the smile on Cad's face is soft but radiant, as if he heard good news.

Fjord feels like he is misleading his friend's feelings. Or being mislead about his. Or his own. The confusion stays until they finally arrive home, finding they're the last ones to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on kudos and appreciate all comments!  
> If you think I should (for example) change/add a tag or anything else, please let me know!


	5. It's coming out to get us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (explanation of the title in the end notes!)  
> (also!! art for this chapter made by me)

Yeza comes to visit them as he promised, to Veth's delight. They act like true love birds for the two days he stays, not leaving each other's arms, kissing like they were alone. Beau and Jester pick on Veth for that, but the halfling couldn't care less.

Fjord is endeared by her constant smile, she glows with happiness. He wonders if it's always like that when one is in love. He tries to remember his few love stories, and while he does remember appreciating the whole physical part, he doesn't recall feeling happy just from seeing his date, whoever it was. Or at least not as much as his friend.

And to be entirely honest, right now he is more worried about the envy he feels than his happiness. The heartache doesn't subside. As soon as someone gets a hug, or even a pat on the shoulder from Caduceus, it hurts. He doesn't let anything show. At least he thinks so.

That's until Yeza leaves and Veth suggests Fjord comes with her for a walk. At first he wants to politely refuse, but a walk can't hurt. As they're exploring the streets, she stops in multiple candy shops, getting enough for two weeks even if everyone ate some every day. After a while she asks if he needs to talk.

"Not at all. What makes you think that?"

"You seem tense lately."

"I just have a hard time getting out of 'study mode', that's all."

"I don't believe that. Mostly because you told that to Molly two weeks ago."

"And yet, that's the truth."

"...Caleb has been looking at 'mister' Clay weirdly."

"Oh, really?" he tries to sound uninterested.

"Especially when Molly hugs him."

"Maybe, I didn't notice."

"I'd recognize that look anywhere. Jealousy."

"J-Jealousy?" Fjord stumbles on the word.

"I suspect something happened between this two."

"If you say so. In all honesty, I haven't noticed anything."

"And you do the same thing." when she sees his reaction, she laughs. "I'm joking! You do look funny, but that's your own business."

"And whatever Caleb is doing is Caleb's business. Yet…"

"Okay, fair point. But you **do** look funny."

"One more word and I pretend I'm the one who bought all that candy."

"That's not even a serious threat, but fine."

Without realizing it, Veth watered the seeds of doubt in Fjord's mind. Seeds? Already well grown sprouts at this point. Not even sure if they represent doubt anymore.

Caduceus has no right being so pretty in a dress. It's just white coton and a bit of tule, the most simple summer dress one could find. And yet. It makes him look even more like one of those tempting creatures, those sailors have warned Fjord about. He does his best to ignore this thoughts, at least he convinces himself that he finds him pretty because he is and nothing else. No feelings behind that. Why would there be?

Veth's training to get used to the ocean is going rather well, she can bear having water up to her chest and she's more comfortable with the idea of floating, as long as someone holds her hand. Caduceus keeps praising her for her progress, and the rest of the gang can only approve. Yasha participates in the lessons, just to reassure the halfling that Cad is not alone to look after her. Jester sometimes joins too, but doesn't really intervene, she just swims around the trio, sometimes she floats until her head bumps into one of them. The scene they offer is always tooth-rotting sweet, but no one would even think of complaining. Cad suggests they try to make a fire to grill marshmallows one day, so Caleb can practice being around flames. The young man is not excited by the idea, but doesn't straight up refuses like he had done in the past. Fjord thinks his friend is ready for his psychology degree before even starting college, helping everyone with their trauma.

He keeps catching himself looking at Cad, or just thinking about him in that dress, with the hat he bought him. At one point he even wishes he could see that everyday. But he shakes his head or put it underwater every time, to cool down his thoughts.

Since their first evening at the beach, Caduceus has been collecting shells, either complete or shards, pretty rocks, pieces of glass smoothed and rounded by their time in the water… He has an entire bag of them, and he keeps filling it. He explained, once, during dinner, that some were for him, but most were for his younger sister Clarabelle. He was thinking about making jewelry for the other members of his family too, but Fjord has no idea if he'll act on that thought.

That day, he seems to find one shell that particularly fits his taste, because he gets pretty agitated after putting it in a different pocket than the others. When Fjord comes back to their spot, Cad comes to him with the brightest smile.

"I, uh, I found something for you."

"Really?"

"Give me your hand."

Fjord does so and waits, only aware of the sparks in his friend's eyes while he looks for the 'something'. Finally he pulls out a flat shell shard, smoothed borders, and the pearl-like part seems to have a pattern drawn in it. He can't tell what it is, but it is a very nice find. He already starts to imagine working a bit what used to be the rough exterior of the shell.

"It's beautiful."

"It's my 'thank you'. I knew you'd **love** it."

"I-I do like it, but that's… almost too much?" he starts handing it back.

"I don't see how. Keep it." Cad gently pushes Fjord's hand to his chest. "I insist."

"Okay. Fine. Very well." he can feel his cheeks getting hotter.

The firbolg smiles again and goes back to his treasure hunt, with Veth and Yasha's help. Fjord sits down under one of the parasols and keeps staring at the shard. His heart is pounding. He didn't lie when he said he'd like anything as long as it was from Cad. He just didn't think it'd make him feel this happy.

Fjord notices how the sting in his heart, this weird ache, when he sees Caduceus acting cuddly with anyone of the group, or when anyone shows him affection and gets a smile in return… it doesn't fade away. It gets stronger and more painful each time. One time when he is afar from the group, he takes time to think about it. Was it always like that? He does remember a few times where it made him envious, to see someone hugging the firbolg. A few times he looked at him discreetly, admiring him. A few times he wondered what kissing him would feel like.

That's only then that the realization strikes him. He fell for Caduceus. He loves him. And he has to take a minute, standing still in the middle of the street. Doing nothing. Except embracing the feeling.

It's the first time he sees that. Molly actually acting jealous. And over what? A guy from Caleb's study group, met by coincidence in a bookshop. Caleb being happy to run into the guy. Caleb constantly re-adjusting his hair and fidgeting with the cover of the book he just bought. Fjord observes the tiefling nibbling at the pulp of his thumb, nervously looking in the direction of the bookshop. You can see the two young men through the window. They've shared the same room and a lot of classes for three years. He never saw his friend like that.

"What's the guy's name?"

"Essek." Molly snaps. "He's an asshole."

"Bitter ex?"

"You could bet your ass, but no." he tries to look away from the window. "Look at him simpering."

"Who?"

"Caleb. I swear, if he bites his lip one more time I- Aaand that's it, I'm done, I'm going home."

"What?! Hey, Molly, wait." he grabs his friend's arm, and meets no resistance. "What's the whole deal? You make it sound like you and Caleb are a thing."

"Don't. Say. That." Molly gives him the angriest look he has ever seen.

"Okay. I didn't say it."

"We're **not** a thing."

"Okay."

"I wish, but no."

" **Oh**. Now that's a plot twist." he looks at the tiefling, who seems more upset than anything. "Do you want to… talk about it?"

"Things happened. I'm too much of a coward to act on it. End of the story."

"Maybe he-"

"Oh no he doesn't. Look at him with Mr.Good-Looking. He wouldn't want me."

"If you say so."

"...Thanks."

"Mmh?"

"I didn't tell anyone about it. I- It helps, to talk. So, thanks, roomie."

"Your welcome."

They stay silent until Caleb gets out of the bookstore, half an hour later, with a handful of old looking books. Molly acts like nothing happen, and appart from a small hint of disgust in his voice or on his face when Essek is mentioned, you could believe it.

The same evening, Molly explains to Fjord how to calm Caleb down when he has a nightmare, just in case he is with his new friends when it happens. The half-orc takes it has a sign of trust. But he still wonders how it comes his friend knows exactly what to do.

Caleb and Fjord are left alone at the apartment for the afternoon, with the mission to take care of all the chores. It doesn't take them too long to clean the rooms and the furniture. Fjord takes the responsibility to water and move the plants the way Caduceus told him to. He takes an extra minute with the smallest, the one the lighthouse lady offered, just to encourage it to grow strong and pretty. He gets a snarky comment from Caleb, who's trying to find out how the washing machine works. The half-orc helps him, and once the machine is running they decide to recheck if everything is alright in the other rooms, before taking a break. When comes the time to hang the clothes out, Fjord can't help asking a question. One that has been tickling his brain for a while.

"Caleb, can I ask you something?"

" _Ja_ , sure."

"Are you in love with Molly?"

Caleb doesn't answer, instead he drops the t-shirt he was taking out of the laundry basket, and tries to run into another room. Fjord catches him right before he can land a foot. He sees tears forming on the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

" _Nein_. I should… I don't…" he keeps crying and scouches down as he tries to form a proper sentence.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're okay…"

Fjord tries to remember what he heard Moly mutter when Caleb had a nightmare and the other things he told him a few days ago. He hugs his friend, not too loose but not too tight either, he doesn't want him to feel trapped. He pats his head and keeps repeating his phrases. After a while he suggests they go back to hanging the laundry, and assures they don't have to talk about it. Once they are done, they go take care of the second load, and the half-orc wonders out loud what Caduceus will make for dinner. He is stopped in his pretending by a small tug at his shirt.

"And you, then?"

"And me what?"

"Are you in love with Cad?"

"What? No. I mean, he is nice and all, but…"

"Yeah I thought the same about Molly for a long time."

"So you do…?"

"Keep it to yourself."

"I will." curiosity gets the best of him. "For how long?"

"You remember the Percent*? The part at Twiggy's?"

"Of course I remember! It wasn't that long ago. What about it?"

"She made everyone pick a name in that weird box, and said we had to make out with that person before the sunrise."

"Yeah, I picked Avantika, she was more than happy about it."

"I picked Molly. And we did make out. With...some...extras?"

"Oh! You regret?"

"Not at all, but we've been… distant, since. I'm not sure if he avoids me on purpose but…"

"I get the idea."

"I've been honest. Your turn now."

"Already answered."

" _Dude, if you eyes were guns, Molly would be dead with the way you look at him when he is on Cad's lap._ "

"I have **no idea** what you said. Pretty sure I still get the message."

"Confess then."

"You first."

"...wanna bet?"

"That's-" Fjord is taken back a bit. "No, actually that sounds like something you'd say."

"Whoever confesses first gets whatever he wants from the other."

"Deal. What if, let's say, they hook up with someone else?"

"Nothing."

"What if Molly tells you he loves you? Do you win?"

"Not really, but I still get something from you."

"What if Molly or Cad starts **dating** someone else."

"Then we both lose. No interest in winning if there isn't competition."

"For someone who grew up with Jester, you sound a awful lot like Beau."

"Or maybe Beau sounds like me, who knows at this point."

They smile at each other and shake hands. It's a stupid bet. One where even the winner doesn't really win if you look closely. But Fjord wants to give it a try. Maybe if he starts getting into that competition spirit it will help him actually do something about his feelings. Maybe he'll confess, finally.

The same evening, Fjord decides to take a better look at the shard Caduceus gifted him. There is definitely a wave-like shape that appears when the light shifts. He's sure he saw that symbol before, but he can't quite put his finger on it. Maybe if he takes more time, in daylight, to examine it… He puts it the pocket of his light jacket. Time will say if he finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's coming out to get us, get us  
> You better run away while it let us  
> 'Cause like it or not"  
> Everyday we get a little better at jealousy"  
> This is from Mika's song "Dear Jealousy" (which i love) and i thought i could use a line from it for this chapter, because of the whole jealous/envious talks.  
> Don't ask me where the bit with Caleb came from. I started writing it and went with the flow, even I don't know how to feel about it, to be honest.  
> I made the art you saw in this chapter! You can find me on tumblr (hairy-liopleurodon-s-art-dump), my other socials are linked there ;)
> 
> As usual I thrive on kudos and genuinely appreciate comments!  
> If you think I should (for example) change/add a tag or anything, please let me know!


	6. Cosmos Mariner

It's their last three days together on vacation. Nobody wants to do anything, because after that, no one knows when they'll have time to see each other like that again. So instead of trying to come up with a schedule, they just stay at the beach all day long. Veth is comfortable enough to swim now, with her hands being held but it's still impressive. They did a few small fires for Caleb, and he manages to keep calm around them. The fact his friends keep a bucket of water and an extinguisher on hand probably helps.

That evening, as they are grilling marshmallows, Veth and Jester pull out an extra bag and ask everyone to gather around them. Each of them is handed a small pouch, with their name and their group's symbol embroidered on it. Inside, beanbag-like dolls. One for each of the members of the Nein. They are wonky, you can definitely tell they're hand-made. Everyone has a little tear coming up. The two girls explain in great details how it took them longer that they thought mostly because embroidery is actually not as simple as they thought. They also explain it's just a little something so they're all together in a certain way.

"That's why you asked each of us for an old piece of clothing…" Molly smiles, squishing the miniature version of himself.

"Yes!" Jester beams, despite the tears flowing from her eyes. "So we all litteraly have a piece of each other with us!"

"That's a wonderful idea, blueberry, trinket…" Caleb hugs them both.

His school will be the furthest, and he doesn't know if he'll have the time and funds to visit them. Caduceus hugs the trio, followed by Yasha and Molly, then Beau and Fjord. It could be all tears in the group, but they laugh instead. They still have time. And even while they prepare for college, even while they work, they'll still meet, a lot, take advantage of every second.

It's only when they get home that Fjord realizes the dolls have little magnets that keeps them together. And he only does so when he tries to pull out the mini version of himself. And the mini Cad came with it. He stares at the two dolls, seemingly holding hands, for gods know how long before putting them both back in the pouch, blushing. He doesn't want to rush anything. But he also feels like he is running out of time.

On their next-to-last evening, they decide to play a game. Well, Jester and Molly decide to play a game.

"Each of us has to say something the others don't know." Jester starts.

"You can chose something pretty vanilla… or not!" Molly continues.

"It's all up to you!" she grins wickedly. "But beware… Others can ask questions!"

"If you chicken out…" he pulls a bottle of strong liquor out of his backpack. "...you have a swing of this baby!"

"Who's up?" Beau seems to be excited by the game.

They all are actually. Mostly because they can chose to not be obscene in their anecdotes. Some of them already knew they'd have plenty vanilla, but nothing more.

In the following hours, they learn that Veth and Caleb kissed  **once** (they both insist on that), that Yasha has been texting a girl she met at a concert, and that she does in fact have a crush on her, Jester and Beau finally tell everyone how it started between them, Molly confirmed he was pretty versatile in bed, Fjord chickened out a few times. Caduceus' lack of a filter made the game even funnier because he'd answer anything like he was asked about the weather.

When they get home, Molly goes laying on the side of the bed closer to Caleb's mattress. No one comments on that, so even if tempted, Fjord keeps his thoughts to himself.

He wakes up a bit before dawn, with a monstrous headache. He goes to the kitchen fetch himself a glass of water and finds Caduceus, shoes on, about to leave.

"Where are you going?" he whispers.

"Taking a walk." he tilts his head quizzically. "You don't look so good."

"Too much. Yesterday."

"I have something for that."

Before the half-orc can protest, he goes to a small bag on the kitchen counter and grabs a small bottle. He pours some of it's content in a glass and fills the rest with water, before handing it to his friend. It tastes horrible. By the time he's down with whatever the potion was, Cad already filled a bottle with cold water and is handing it to him.

"Would you like to come?"

"Why not… Can't hurt I guess."

"Quite the opposite, in your case."

They share a smile and Fjord puts on his shoes and his light jacket. They get out silently after leaving a note one the dinner table, just so their friends won't be worried if they take long to come back.

Once they are outside, the lukewarm air gives Fjord a feel of liberty, and he just follows Cad as they go through the empty streets. Everything is different, sounds and smells not exactly the same. They are being as silent as they can, yet he feels like they are being extremely loud. They pass by a bakery, where the first batches of cakes and breads are being made, and the smell is stronger than in the day. Cad suggests they go by the docks, so they can look at the sun rise on the sea. Fjord just barely stops himself from commenting that it'd be very romantic.

As to keep him awake, Caduceus keeps asking Fjord questions about the ships he sees, and the answers vary from very vague and short to lengthy and passionate. It seems to bring a smile to his face when he asks about a old ship.

"I read a book where a ship was called like that." he explains. "The quote was, uh, 'Cosmos Mariner : destination unknown' if i recall."

"What was the book about?"

"I have no idea. I only remember that and a female character that was named after white wine."

"Sounds like you."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Can I ask you something?" Fjord's fist clenches around the shard in his pocket.

"Sure."

"It's a weird question…"

"They invite weird answers. I like that."

"... do you love anyone?"

"I love everyone."

"No, I mean…  **love** , as in, wanting to kiss that person."

"Oh." the blush on the firbolg's face is wide and bright. "I, uh, do."

"They're lucky." he blushes too and feels tears coming to his eyes. "Whoever they are."

"You're lucky then."

"Wha-"

He turns to Caduceus and before he knows it, their lips are touching. It's a pretty chaste kiss, but Fjord feels a hand cupping his jaw and another on the back of his head. Then the kiss deepens and he closes his eyes. He grasps Caduceus' shoulders. They break contact for a second before going in for a second kiss. A third. A fourth. They lose count after that.

Finally when they stop, they both laugh. Fjord feels his heart pounding with happiness.

"I thought…" Caduceus says softly. "I thought you loved Molly. For a while."

"Don't laugh but I thought the same about you. Still did before… I feel stupid."

"You aren't. Trust me."

"Thank you."

Caduceus leans forward to kiss him again and that's when Fjord notices how uncomfortable their height difference might be for him. He gets on his tiptoes in an attempt to help, but mostly he ends up against the firbolg's chest. The laugh he gets as an answer is worth looking stupid. They kiss and hug until some joggers start passing by. On their way home, Fjord gets a text from Caleb, asking if both of them are okay. Seeing how close they are to be back he decides to only answer with a medal emoji. He reaches to hold Caduceus' hand. When they get inside, they are welcomed by Caleb, Beau and Veth, who cheer at the sight of their hands, still clinging to each other. Trying to look away in shyness, Fjord looks at Caduceus' earing. Now he knows where he saw that wave shape.

She does watch over the sea. Sea is part of nature after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is also the shortest... Can you tell how impatient about getting to the end I was?
> 
> I thrive on kudos and truly appreciate comments!  
> If you think I should (for example) change/add a tag or anything, please let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on kudos and genuinely appreciate comments, so don't hesitate!  
> Especially if you think I should change/add a tag or anything like that <:3c


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